how I ended up in a crazed motorcycle chase with a floral delivery van

How I Ended Up in a Crazed Motorcycle Chase with a Floral Delivery Van

by Lizzy

This is a story and so, like all good stories, it starts out with me junk punching someone. Just kidding. But I wanted to.

Once upon a time, Lizzy's computer's screen became cracked when her foot, wildly out of control and acting of its own volition, put its full weight on the computer. Lizzy cried. She called around to find a place that would fix the computer for free. She did not succeed, shockingly, but she did find somewhere that said they could fix the computer that same day for only $100. "Huzzah!" she thought, "Now all of my wildest dreams will come true!" So Lizzy drove her computer to PC Provo, excited for the same-day repair. Unfortunately, she was informed that a better and faster (?) way would be to send the computer to the manufacturer. "Okay," she thought. It was not optimal, but she needed the computer fixed somehow. So, she shipped the computer to the manufacturer.

One week later, Lizzy was getting worried. She called Asus, who apologetically informed her their computers had all crashed. Since the company actually makes computers, this did not really seem to reflect well on their products, but what could Lizzy do? So she waited another week until she got an email requesting payment information. The cost was $165. This was highly unfortunate but, again, what could Lizzy do? She reluctantly paid the company.

One more week later, the computer had finally shipped. Lizzy anxiously checked the online tracking site for 5 days. Her computer had all of her research data on it, so she'd been unable to work on her research paper, and Dr. Bushes was beginning to get anxious. They were now three weeks behind on their deadline. Lizzy reassured him that the computer was on its way.

But the computer did not come and did not come. After repeatedly calling FedEx, it was found that the FedEx man had gone to the wrong apartment. She was assured the mistake had been corrected in the file, and the computer would arrive the following day.

The computer did not arrive. Lizzy had been in class, and apparently her personal signature was required for the computer to be delivered. Resigned and in desperate need of her computer, Lizzy missed class the following day to wait for the computer.

Can you guess what happened next? The computer did not come. Again. Lizzy had to tell Dr. Bushes they were now a month behind due to her missing computer. He began to be frustrated. Lizzy was frustrated, too. She had all of her class notes on the computer, and her midterms were that same week. She had conscientiously backed up all of her data, but to no avail--her flash drive was stolen from a library computer when she'd left to print something at the printers five feet away.

Lizzy cried some more.

The next day, Lizzy missed class again to wait for the computer. Again, the computer did not come. Despite specific, urgent instructions and a large, unmistakable sign, the delivery man had once again gone to the wrong apartment. Lizzy was now hopelessly behind in school and on all three research projects. People were beginning to get upset with her. Her fragile emotional state was broken, and she fell into a complete breakdown. She called FedEx in full-on hysterics. The lady assured her that the driver had been contacted and the problem would be rectified the following day.

That day was today. Again, Lizzy had missed class in a desperate attempt to catch the delivery man. She had actually sat outside on the sidewalk for over an hour in case he'd come to the wrong apartment again.

Lizzy had gone outside six minutes too late.

By this time, Lizzy was outraged. She called FedEx again and screamed at the poor woman. She demanded that the FedEx man turn around and delivery her package immediately. They called and called, but the driver did not answer his phone.

A few hours later, still waiting outside, Lizzy saw the FedEx truck drive by. She frantically jumped on her scooter, losing a few precious moments while it started up. She caught a glance of the back of the white van. She chased after it. She chased and she chased. Cars honked as she recklessly cut them off. She was determined not to lose the van.

Finally, the van stopped. Lizzy screeched to a halt and leapt off the scooter in pursuit of the delivery man. As she ran, she saw the side of the van for the first time.

It read, "Provo Craft and Floral."

And that is how Lizzy ended up in a motorcycle chase with a floral delivery man.

Love,

Lizzy.

PS- I am still waiting for the van. When the delivery man comes, I am going to junk punch him. Hard.