i love disneyland more than almost anything

This is me at Disneyland Paris. I am SO GLAD we decided to go!

I just have to tell you, I love Disneyland. I think it is seriously the happiest place on earth. Honestly. It is like, the greatest thing ever ever ever.

I miss it. I want to go to Disneyland RIGHT NOW! I really, really, really seriously want to go to Disneyland, though. This summer I may make a trip...we shall see. Especially because I am also supposed to go on a road trip with Caj and Abbie to visit the boys in Tilamook (yes, like the cheese). But I love Disneyland so much...

Anyways. I don't know why that has been on my mind lately, but it has. It is my happy place, right there.

Love,
Lizzy ;)

my laziness reaches new heights

Here was my to-do list for today:

• Start studying for that environmental biology midterm that ends on Thursday.
• Start studying for that Italian midterm on Friday.
• Finally get around to the LDS Marriage and Family paper that's due this week
• Finally get around to the Book of Mormon paper/online assignment/reading assignments that are due tomorrow
• Start the IRB for the psychology research project (it is due on Wednesday)
• Put away the cereal bowl that I used for breakfast as I was being late for Italian
• Edit the chemistry transcript that is due tomorrow at 10 am

Here was what I did today:

• Took a nap in the Cougareat. Woke up because Hairspray was suddenly blasted over the intercom.
• Talked to my teammate for psychology project about her wedding (chose cake) (IRB not mentioned)
• Checked out multiple houses I will not be living in this year (but now I know for sure!)
• Read a lot of PostSecret archives. All of them, actually.
• Went to the dollar store with roommates. Bought spatula. 
• Went to Buy Low with roommates. Bought tortillas, cheese, cereal, and ice cream. 
• Went to Shopko with roommates. Bought glitter glue for unknown reasons.
• Watched a lot of videos about skiing/snowboarding with the boys, again for unknown reasons.
• Watched The Office.
• Watched Community.
• Went through three months of CakeWreck archives.

And it is 11pm. So...um...well...

Good job, Isabelle. Good job.

Love,

me. 

i am becoming one of those crazy organic environmentalists.

This semester, I am taking Environmental Biology. It fulfills a physical science requirement, and that's the only reason I'm taking it. I have no interest in environmental science of any kind. My worldview goes something like, "We're all going to die, stop being a little girl." I believe global warming is one of those "the sky is falling" ordeals in which I repeatedly tell people the world is going to end and there is nothing they can do about it, just accept it and move on.

But for my environmental biology class, we were asked to watch Food, Inc. 


Yep. I'm now one of those crazy, organic environmentalists.

If you're not familiar with the film, it's a documentary about the food industry in the United States. It covers beef, chicken, pork, corn, soybeans...the whole nine yards.

Guess what? It's horrible. Sickening. Wrong. I'm a skeptic, and I know the film wasn't perfect, but I also know those people spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and risked millions in lawsuits to produce a film that they knew would never 'make it big', because they believe in this cause. They had nothing but good intentions, and they got their message across. It may have been imperfect, and it's certainly biased, but the evidence holds even under my university research scrutiny. And I think they are right.

First of all, I am an animal person. I love animals. I firmly believe that just because animals don't have the mental capacity to defend themselves against us does not make them worthless. They are living things with brains, thoughts, and feelings. They feel pain just like you do. They experience joy and sadness just like you do. They form interpersonal relationships just like you do. Anyone who has ever had a pet knows this. They think. They have emotions. I have had cats who were able to unlock doors and open microwaves. Dogs who hid when they knew they'd done something wrong. Horses who could tell when you were afraid (and were more than happy to take advantage of that.) Pets who knew when you were sad and were there to provide comfort in their own simple way. The fact is, animals are alive, just like you. And their lower level of intelligence renders them completely subservient to us, the humans.

I accept that Heavenly Father put them here to be below us. I understand that. But I also believe that he never, ever put them here to be crushed to death by the millions in order to provide us with cheap bacon. I don't believe that he intended chickens to live for only 38 days, in which they could not walk or even stand because they have been so genetically modified that their bones cannot support their weight. I know he did not want them to be tortured and brutalized in every possible way, to be treated like nothing but a means to a paycheck. We have been asked to take care of them. To look after them. To treat them with the respect and honor they deserve as living things.

I've heard about these sort of things before. Transcribing classes for a public health major has shown me more than my fair share of slaughterhouses. I know it is horrible. But I always thought there was nothing I could do. The food industry is controlled by the government and the workings of a capitalist nation. How could one little girl's choice to not eat a hamburger possibly make a difference?

Well, you just have to look around at Walmart or Smiths or Maceys to know that a difference has already been made, and by a minority who was always told they couldn't make a difference. Organic, non-GMO, and free-range labels are showing up everywhere. Every store now features reusable grocery bags. Because those grocery store owners had a change of heart? No. Because their customers were willing to pay for organic foods and eco-conscious practices.

To be honest, I already buy organic where possible. I buy cage-free eggs and organic fruits and veggies. It's only about a dollar more, and even I, a lowly student, has the ability to pay that dollar. But I also buy candy bars and Cheetos and all sorts of crap. And I'm done supporting an industry that harms everything about this world--from the environment, to the children killed by E. coli-contaminated burgers, to the horrible jobs minority workers are forced to work, to the animals that are treated like dirt rather than the thinking, feeling, living things they are.

So. It's organic from here on out. It's local farmers. It's free-range beef. I refuse to eat anything if I don't know where it came from. I refuse to eat anything produced by Tyson or Smithfield or McDonalds.

This is your Earth. Protect it.

Love,
Lizzy
Your Local Crazy Environmentalist Organic Granola Girl

my birthday party!!

It was fantastic, you guys. Simply wonderful. To protect everyone from creepy stalkers and stuff, I'm not going to post pictures or the several amazingly funny videos on here. But if we are Facebook friends, go check it out. Seriously, check out the videos, because they might have to come down soon if the subjects of the videos find out they're on facebook.

But yeah. It was really great to have almost everyone I love all together on my birthday eating and talking and laughing. It was super great and I am so, so grateful to everyone that came.

Yay!!

Love,
Lizzy ;)

drama, drama, drama

Yep. There has been loads of it lately. Loads and loads of D-R-A-M-A drama. It's my family, it's a holiday, I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this...at all. Nope, this was a shock. We usually have lots of traditions and do loads of fun family things...but not this year. This year, not even one activity will take place with my family for the Christmas season.

So this Christmas is going to be lonely. But oh well.

At least I have Clad. Everything else may always fall apart for me, but as long as I've got him, I'm good. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and literally the biggest blessing ever. And really, as long as he's happy and we're together, I'll be just fine.

Love,
Lizzy ;)

dear red bull,

Dear Red Bull,

I'm really sorry I cheated on you with Monster. And then again with NeuroSonic. I know you have more caffeine and fewer calories than both of them put together. It's just that you're so disgusting. If you could be less disgusting, I would not have to cheat on you. Wait, in all fairness, Monster is equally disgusting. But I'm seriously considering running off with NeuroSonic, even though he's way more high-maintenance and also makes me feel like I'm on speed. Still, I'll never forget how fun you made statistics class. And the fact that I'm writing a blog post at 1:20 am. That is thanks to you also.

Love,

Lizzy.

Dear Honors 300R Professor,

Did you know that I have 10 'polished' pages of a 20-30 page research paper due in exactly one week? I do. Guess how many pages of that have been completed? Is your guess zero? You are correct.

I hate you.

Love,

Lizzy.

Dear Grad Student to whom I have been Enslaved,

I know technically I signed myself up for this. But really, I was planning to break the news to you many moons ago. You are a good person somewhere very, very deep down inside, but really I do not have time to go on making Excel sheets until I die. Even if I liked making Excel sheets. Which I do not. Also, I have read the names Wisner, Gregoire, Dalton K, and O'Hara MW so many times that they don't look like words any more. I have also typed them, put them into APA format, checked their comparisons, and made you a coding manual. And that was just what I did today.

Also, do you HAVE to color code EVERYTHING?

In conclusion, I love you, but please die.

Love,

Lizzy.

Dear Roommate,

You snore like a bear. Sometimes it wakes me up. From my bear dreams. That your snoring prompted.

Love,

Lizzy.

Dear Other Roommate,

You giggle and talk about Voldemort, your boyfriend, and iTunes in your sleep. Sometimes you also make up songs involving teeth, and hum loudly. If you could sleep a little bit quieter, that would be awesome. But if not, that's cool too, because you make me laugh.

Love,

Lizzy.

Dear Blog Readers,

Are you seriously still reading this? Don't you have lives or something better to do?

No really, though. You ought to stop procrastinating and do something useful instead of reading letters to energy drinks all day long. You'll rot your brain, you know.

Love,

Lizzy ;)

speed laundry

tiny french washing machine. notice it is only slightly larger than my head. And I have a pinhead.

When I was in France, and we had to go to a laundromat that closed at 9pm, we developed something we called "Speed Laundry." Important clarification: this does not refer to doing speed while doing laundry. I mean "Doing Laundry at High Speeds." This blog does not endorse the use of speed for laundry purposes. Or other purposes. Shhh you get the idea.

Here was our brilliant plan:

8:20- Realize it was 8:20.

8:20-30- Frantically gather up random clothes that may or may not need washing. Shove them into grocery bags, because we don't have a laundry basket or clothing carrying thingy.

8:30-Shove clothes into washing machine.

8:30-8:58- Sit in laundromat (for the record, I wrote "laundry mat" twice before I figured out the word is laundromat.) and discuss art.

8:58-8:59- Frantically shove clothes into dryer.

9-9:30- Pray the manager doesn't kick us out before our clothes are done drying. Succeed.

9:31- Grab clothes, shove back in grocery bags, run home as fast as possible because we don't live in the best neighborhood and oh my gosh is that drunk man talking to us and oh no we are not very big or very strong and quick quick enter the gate code and run run inside and pull the door closed and breathe heavily.

9:40-10pm- Hang up clothes on curtain rack, on top of radiator, in the bathroom, on the bedposts, on a chair, and anywhere else we can find. Later be chastised for potentially warping the wood. Apologize. Ask where we should hang the clothes. Be met with response we don't understand. Pretend to understand.

We repeated this cycle about once a week. It was highly effective. Here in the lovely United States, with a laundry mat (oh forget it, I just keep writing it like that) in our apartment complex that doesn't close, in a nice neighborhood...it is an improvement. I will say that. Also, it costs $3 instead of $20.

Also in France they have the smallest washing machines known to man.

Love,

Lizzy ;)

pressure, pancakes, and pandas

what happens when you type "pancake panda" into Google Images

What do pancakes and pandas have to do with this post? Well, for one they both start with P. That is maybe the end of the list though.

I am feeling under A LOT of pressure lately. This is largely due to my own procrastination. For some reason, I am unable to do anything until I suddenly realize I am horribly behind in absolutely everything and I am so stressed out I can hardly breathe.

This happened today.

For some reason, I can never wake up before 7am. My body just outright refuses. It's like it doesn't care at all about my success or well-being. So, although every day this week I've intended to get up at 6, or at the latest 6:30, I get up at 7. Even this morning. When I have a lab at 8am that takes 25 minutes to walk to.

Unfortunately, that means I don't get anything done in the morning. I also don't get anything done during the day because I am retarded. I don't get anything done at night because...I am still retarded. Basically, I don't get anything done ever.

When you never do anything, the things just build up and build up. Soon the world is a vortex of doom and also things you needed to do ages ago but never did.

A good thing to do when you have so many things that need to be done you are sweating under the pressure and will never have time to finish, is to blog.

Love,

Lizzy ;)

confession: i love rainstorms

this isn't my picture. i am not that cool.

Clad hates rainstorms. He hates it when it's overcast. He hates it when it snows. Pretty much the only weather Clad like is warm and sunny. Which is great, everybody loves warmth and sun.

But truth be told, I actually like rainstorms. I love sitting inside with a cup of hot chocolate and watching the rain come down in sheets. I love the slight danger of driving. I love reading at Borders and hearing the pound of water on asphalt outside. Of course, I don't actually like being in the rain. It is only cool if you are inside, and it is outside. It is not cool at all when you are both contained in the same space. That is the opposite of cool.

Right now, it is just the sort of weather Clad hates. Let's just say, I'm loving it. Shh, don't tell.

Love,

Lizzy ;)

how I ended up in a crazed motorcycle chase with a floral delivery van

How I Ended Up in a Crazed Motorcycle Chase with a Floral Delivery Van

by Lizzy

This is a story and so, like all good stories, it starts out with me junk punching someone. Just kidding. But I wanted to.

Once upon a time, Lizzy's computer's screen became cracked when her foot, wildly out of control and acting of its own volition, put its full weight on the computer. Lizzy cried. She called around to find a place that would fix the computer for free. She did not succeed, shockingly, but she did find somewhere that said they could fix the computer that same day for only $100. "Huzzah!" she thought, "Now all of my wildest dreams will come true!" So Lizzy drove her computer to PC Provo, excited for the same-day repair. Unfortunately, she was informed that a better and faster (?) way would be to send the computer to the manufacturer. "Okay," she thought. It was not optimal, but she needed the computer fixed somehow. So, she shipped the computer to the manufacturer.

One week later, Lizzy was getting worried. She called Asus, who apologetically informed her their computers had all crashed. Since the company actually makes computers, this did not really seem to reflect well on their products, but what could Lizzy do? So she waited another week until she got an email requesting payment information. The cost was $165. This was highly unfortunate but, again, what could Lizzy do? She reluctantly paid the company.

One more week later, the computer had finally shipped. Lizzy anxiously checked the online tracking site for 5 days. Her computer had all of her research data on it, so she'd been unable to work on her research paper, and Dr. Bushes was beginning to get anxious. They were now three weeks behind on their deadline. Lizzy reassured him that the computer was on its way.

But the computer did not come and did not come. After repeatedly calling FedEx, it was found that the FedEx man had gone to the wrong apartment. She was assured the mistake had been corrected in the file, and the computer would arrive the following day.

The computer did not arrive. Lizzy had been in class, and apparently her personal signature was required for the computer to be delivered. Resigned and in desperate need of her computer, Lizzy missed class the following day to wait for the computer.

Can you guess what happened next? The computer did not come. Again. Lizzy had to tell Dr. Bushes they were now a month behind due to her missing computer. He began to be frustrated. Lizzy was frustrated, too. She had all of her class notes on the computer, and her midterms were that same week. She had conscientiously backed up all of her data, but to no avail--her flash drive was stolen from a library computer when she'd left to print something at the printers five feet away.

Lizzy cried some more.

The next day, Lizzy missed class again to wait for the computer. Again, the computer did not come. Despite specific, urgent instructions and a large, unmistakable sign, the delivery man had once again gone to the wrong apartment. Lizzy was now hopelessly behind in school and on all three research projects. People were beginning to get upset with her. Her fragile emotional state was broken, and she fell into a complete breakdown. She called FedEx in full-on hysterics. The lady assured her that the driver had been contacted and the problem would be rectified the following day.

That day was today. Again, Lizzy had missed class in a desperate attempt to catch the delivery man. She had actually sat outside on the sidewalk for over an hour in case he'd come to the wrong apartment again.

Lizzy had gone outside six minutes too late.

By this time, Lizzy was outraged. She called FedEx again and screamed at the poor woman. She demanded that the FedEx man turn around and delivery her package immediately. They called and called, but the driver did not answer his phone.

A few hours later, still waiting outside, Lizzy saw the FedEx truck drive by. She frantically jumped on her scooter, losing a few precious moments while it started up. She caught a glance of the back of the white van. She chased after it. She chased and she chased. Cars honked as she recklessly cut them off. She was determined not to lose the van.

Finally, the van stopped. Lizzy screeched to a halt and leapt off the scooter in pursuit of the delivery man. As she ran, she saw the side of the van for the first time.

It read, "Provo Craft and Floral."

And that is how Lizzy ended up in a motorcycle chase with a floral delivery man.

Love,

Lizzy.

PS- I am still waiting for the van. When the delivery man comes, I am going to junk punch him. Hard.

unusual tips fer college

Do you want to look like this person holding a diploma? Too bad, because I have no idea how to accomplish that. I do, however, have some tips on surviving some of the most common problems of college life.

1. You will encounter many problems involving "crowd control" on campus. I have no idea why; it isn't like there's Johnny Depp visiting or some really good band, people just really, really want to go through the exact door that you want to, and they want to do it NOW, and they want to go both in and out at the same time. I find, however, this is easily solved if you simply walk forcefully at people. The effect is heightened if you are carrying an absurdly large and heavy bag that you can "accidentally" whack people with if they don't move.

2. Another issue is motivating oneself to actually accomplish homework. I've taken a great spin off Nike's slogan: Just don't do it. You probably won't graduate, and you might get put on academic probation, but then you won't have to do homework! Problem solved!

3. Many college students, especially at BYU, find themselves buried under the prospect of dating. To date or not to date? How much? Who? I personally, use a simply technique I like to call "pretending I'm married." It is surprising how many people will still ask you out, but it's at least 3 people fewer than would if you weren't suspiciously wearing multiple rings on your left ring finger. Note: this tip is not recommended if you ever actually want to get married.

4. Do you have roommate trouble? What if your roommates NEVER wash the dishes, even if you have a fully functional dishwasher RIGHT THERE? The solution to this is surprisingly simple: bury rotting eggs in the dishes in the sink. Then leave for about a week. At some point, your roommates will break down and do the dishes just to get rid of the horrendously pervasive smell, all while you are happily vacationing in Switzerland.

5. My final advice is about money. I have found myself unable to buy food on a number of occasions. If this happens to you, steal a tip from my previous roommates and just eat your roommates' food. They won't mind, and even if they do, what are they going to do about it? Divorce you? They can't, because you pay rent, and also you aren't married. They will just have to deal with it, or get a safe to put their food in. But good luck finding a refrigerated safe...bwahahaha...

I am confident that if you employ these five brilliant tips, you will probably not die.* You're welcome.

Love,

Lizzy ;)

*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA.

For that matter, I don't guarantee that it's even a semblance of truth.

clahsses

me studying angrily

So. Here is the dealio yo.

MWF 9-9:50 AM French 321. This is where I go to pretend I speak French and typically fail. Occasionally, I'll also mess up some grammar and do something else stupid. My teacher is very sweet, though, so that's good.

TTh 9-9:50 AM Book of Mormon. I am in a Returned Missionary section, so mostly I am one of three girls and I feel very dumb, but that is okay. It is a good class, and I like it better than Freshman BoM, so...yep.

Then I work for an interminably long time transcribing classes that are far too difficult in order to make the money necessary for life.

TTh 12:05-1:20 PM Writing Religion. YAY A 30 PAGE RESEARCH PAPER!!! Not.

MWF 2-2:50 PM American Heritage. One word: ew. Two words: ew, and sleeping. I sleep through it a lot. Or always. This is way more than one word.

MW 4:30-6:20 PM Stats. Weirdly, this is one of my favorite classes. There is something seriously wrong with me, and also my teacher, who frequently pulls fish sticks out of his shorts pockets and eats them. He is also violently opposed to pants.

I also have two lab meetings in there for research. I have 18 credits. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I don't know. If I knew I would tell you. But it's okay. Not great, but okay.

Love,

Lizzy ;)

moar houz pitchers

Here are some more pictures of my nouveau residence!

The outside of the house...isn't it adorable?

I'm rooming with two friends that go back way to high school. As you can see, my roommates are still working on the whole moving in thing.


Here's my corner! I heart it with all my heart heart.

Love,
Lizzy :)

sealy ack!

Things Lizzy Hearts:

• Knowing I have Celiac disease. Yes, the diet can be somewhat difficult, but I've never before been able to go a day without having the worst stomachache of my life. Last year, I missed classes constantly because I was so ill. Celiac can cause all kinds of problems--chronic fatigue, a shutdown of the immune system (hello, mono, swine flu, regular flu), etc. Now that I'm off gluten that's all gone!! And I can't tell you how nice digestion feels. That sounds disgusting, but I'm totally serious. This is the best thing ever.
• Listening to iTunes U lectures on my iPod while cleaning. I've never enjoyed cleaning a bathroom before, but then I started learning while cleaning! Check out iTunes U, it's awesome.
• Rice pudding.
  
• iTunes Yoga podcasts. Tara Stiles is what I'm currently watching. It's like a workout DVD, only free and there are a million episodes to choose from and there are always new ones growing there like on some kind of freaky yoga podcast tree!!!
• Having everything packed up and ready to go to move in to my new apartment!
• My beautiful, lovely, awesometastic friends and families. I love you.
• Knowing that no matter how low things seem sometimes, it always gets better. It always works out. I believe in my God and my Gospel, and that somehow makes everything okay...even when it isn't.

Love,
Lizzy ;)

PS-Told you I'd come back positive ;)

my life: the bad and the ugly

Today has been...interesting.

It started off okay. I went for a run (I'm training for a 5K and working up to a triathlon, though I was temporarily derailed by injury). I got a fairly good haircut at Paul Mitchell The School.

Then things went downhill. The desk I've spent the past two weeks, countless hours, and a great deal of emotional energy on was ruined in the rain, then sort of repaired by my mom and stepdad, turned out to be interdit (not allowed, the French word is just way better) in my new apartment. As Clad would say: Suck. After finding out this not-so-happy news, I then accidentally stepped on my precious notebook. I heard a telltale crack, and found a mark in the screen as though I'd shot it with an invisible bullet that hadn't broken the plastic, but rather the actual LCD of the computer.

After calling around, it will only cost $100 to fix. However, this whole machine cost me $300. So $100=crap. Suck. Negative emotions.

Keep in mind, this is after finding out that BYU plans on keeping all my scholarship money and grants until at least the 27th, even though my first and last month's rent, utility bill, and parking permit (a total of $730) is due on the 25th (in two days). Also I have to fix my computer. And school starts the 30th.

And oh, wait, I have Celiac disease. Good bye bread, cookies, cake, and basically all food always.

I have not actually cried, but I definitely want to. I feel like my life is a facsimile of a sham, and I haven't got a thing funny to say about it.

I will come back and be positive later. Right now, life just sucks.

Love,
Lizzy.

yet another reason i am not normal

Most people need their full brain capacities to function. It's like in Karate Kid, where he has to focus to do well.

As I'm sure you've discovered, I am not "most people," no matter how hard I try to be. When I focus, terrible things happen. Random anxieties take over my brain. I'm paralyzed and unable to do anything. Life becomes a vortex of fear and...fear.

Instead, in order to function like a real human, I have to make sure I never use more than half my brain capacity. Whether I'm driving, dancing, or taking a test, I must be certain I am never focusing, because otherwise everything goes down in flames.

So I listen to music. A LOT. This is a perfect distraction and as long as I try very hard to listen to the words of every song, I usually can drive without dissolving into tears because I'm not absolutely positive that I'm not too close to one line or the other.

This is not a perfect distraction because today's radio plays two things: religious music and horrifically morally unsound music. Thus, I am forced to listen to either, "Hallelujah, I serve my King," (not kidding, sadly), or "in my head, I see you all over me, in my head, you fulfill my fantasy." Obviously I chose a tame one because this blog is PG, but they get far worse than that.

So, I've decided to install a special kind of hearing aid into my head that plays various nature sounds at high volume and random intervals throughout the day. Not nature sounds like "ocean waves crashing" or any of that stuff. Nature sounds like, "super annoying seals barking loudly at random intervals."

You, too, can live your life at half capacity! Call today for the free Non-Religion-Related-or-Immoral Brain Distractor! If you call now, we'll send in a live seal free of charge!

But wait! There's more! Call now to receive not just your Brain Distractor and your live seal, but also seventeen real oceans! There will never be a deal as good as this. Call today to start living your life halfway.

Love,

Lizzy

paper.

So guys. I am for realsies writing this paper for publication.

How on the friggin earth did I get myself into this?

Right now I am sitting in a windowless lab...wait, I lied. There's a window. It's right in front of my face. Haang on, that's impossible. We're in a basement and there is an office on the side of that wall the window is on.

....

You guys. The window is actually a mirror. They stuck a mirror in the wall and made it look exactly like a window and then they actually hung up sad, beige "curtains" that look suspiciously like berber carpet.

They actually built a completely implausible fake window in here.

Who am I, and why am I unable to just not either attempt to overachieve or stop caring about everything entirely? I guess I can cut myself some slack. Some of my reasoning for staying ridiculously busy is because I desperately miss Clad. Let's be honest, it's kind of sucky when half your life goes to Japan.

Almost as sucky as fake and stupidly placed mirror/windows.

On to the figures section...

Love,

Lizzy ;)

correlation between diabetic cats and Norwegian schizophrenia patients aged 19-28 in 1927

this is a diabetic cat.

Did you like my title? I bet you think I'm kidding. No, that's what scientific journal articles are really like. I think that when researchers write titles, they have a special game called "how many ridiculously specific words can we put into one title that are extremely descriptive but render the entire article completely worthless because they are so specific before people completely forget what we were writing about in the first place and thus don't even start reading our article?"

Yes, the title of the game is an example of the game itself.

I don't know if this is a real game, that's just my theory. But I think I will find out whether it's real, because guess what, I'm a research assistant. I know, I know, at 20 years old I, too, can live in a dimly lit hovel in front of a computer doing correlation studies and DNA analysis.

Currently, I'm working with BYU's neuroscience chair on an ecological correlation study connecting infant mortality rates to schizophrenia prevalence and incidence worldwide. No, I'm not kidding. That's really what I'm researching, among other things.

You know, I don't think I'm ever going to be normal, even with serious psychiatric treatment. But I might publish a paper on a completely pointless study!

Love,
Lizzy :)

deep down inside, i don't think people are evil.

note: this image was taken from abundancetapestry.com

Do you know that feeling when you're just having a truly terrible day? You end up doing things like wandering around Wal-Mart and buying ten packages of no-fridge-needed pudding. Or staring at walls super intensely.

And then sometimes, people are truly just good.

They let you go first at a stop sign, even though really, it's their turn, and you both know it.

They smile.

They let you borrow money, so that your stomach will stop making an ulcer.

They write on your wall on Facebook and adorably refer to themselves in third person.

They tell you they love you.

They pick up the pen you dropped.

They see you from inside a store as you walk by and quickly hold a sign against the window that says, "You're pretty."

What's embarrassing is, when a random stranger does one of these things, it suddenly makes you become absolutely overwhelmed with emotion. The fact that someone out there cares, even just the tiniest bit, suddenly turns your horrible day around. You are left standing there, in tears, just because someone was kind. Someone cared. Someone smiled.

So smile, okay? Because just maybe, you're making someone else's life suddenly worth living again. :)

Love,

Lizzy ;)

beer garden

I began my very first hostel experience today at 2 am.

The story of how it came to be 2 am when our plane arrived at 8:30 pm is a joke in and of itself, so we'll just say that we walked for a really, really ridiculously long time and I'm not sure how my arm managed to remain attached to my body for the 5.5 hours in which I dragged 75 pounds of luggage up and down stairs, in and out of buses, in and out of a train, in and out of the metro, and across broken beer bottles (and beer bottles that become broken) on a scary, scary street. Also, my Swiss Army Knife once again came in handy. I became some sort of secret ninja warrior and carried it pointing straight out in front of me the whole way. When cars slowed down, I actually baton twirled my Swiss Army Knife with my fingers. This in and of itself seems like a bad plan, but trust me, in perspective with my plan that included deciding to navigate an unfamiliar bus/train/Metro system in a country I've never been to before, with a dominant language I don't speak a word of, at night...

I am more awesome than words can ever describe.

Somehow, we actually arrived at picturesque "Tiber Camping Village." The first thing I saw was a sign that said "CEILING BEING RENEWED!!" in large, urgent letters beneath something in Italian that had more i's and z's than seems necessary in any situation. It was confusing because as far as I know the sky doesn't have a ceiling, and how do you even renew a ceiling in the first place? This sign was posted in random places every few feet along the pathway. I became actually quite taken with it. It was my friend that said, "There is an Italian hostel with people that sort of speak English (kind of) soon (maybe) in this general direction."

Tiber Camping Village is right by the Tiber River in Italy. I think when people were building Tiber Village, they basically were like, "Let's put every type of thing that humans can inhabit possible in this area!" So they put tents and trailers and motor home hookups and little trailer-like things you can rent and female dorms and men's dorms and mixed dorms and shared rooms and possibly a single private room. This makes for a strange conglomerate of extremely courageous and foolish families, really old and clinically insane people, and drunk twenty-somethings.

Still, I am a fan of Tiber Village because it includes a bed, and I can't tell you how concerned I was that we were going to have to go and sleep in some bushes last night. Although I should mention that this bed is a bunk bed above another bunk bed and beside another bunk bed, which is beside a wall that emits a persistent, unending, and irregular sound like rusty robots fighting. They never quite manage to kill each other, though. Every few minutes there is a silence that makes me think the sound is finally over, but then it starts up again. I think it is actually louder when it starts again. It's like the rusty robots are mocking me in my attempts to sleep.

I'm especially happy that Tiber Village has a small and exorbitantly priced market from which you can buy food, hot showers, and the internet.

Tiber Roma has a few perks that I couldn't even have thought up to ask for, however. The first of these is a "beer garden." If I was having some sort of acid trip/dream in which I was somehow imagining a "beer garden," I would imagine trees and bushes that grew beer. I know this is irrational, but what on earth is a beer garden? I will tell you. It is a bunch of picnic tables in a wilderness that includes nature's many wonders like mosquitoes, flies, fire ants and man-eating venus Flytraps (just kidding) in which people drink beer. A lot of beer. I don't think they ever stop drinking beer, actually; I'm rather concerned about alcohol overdose. There's a man lying here who has been here since yesterday and I don't think he's moved. Someone once tried to check his pulse, but they were pretty drunk so I don't know if their reading was accurate. I was going to, but I don't want to touch him because I have a phobia of getting AIDS. Even though I don't do anything that could possibly give me AIDS.

Anyways. So as my first hostel experience, I think that Tiber Roma is exactly as....unique as everyone says. Except for the maybe dead guy. I think he makes it even more unique.

This week is going to be fun.

Love,
Lizzy ;)