bad pickup line of the day.

The BYU Creamery is famous, at least in my life, for the worst pickup lines I have ever heard.

For example, two of the most recent:

"I know why you're wearing a flower in your hair." "Why?" "Because you like...flowers."

and my personal favorite,

"Hey, you could just throw your hair out the window and wait for your prince to come." "Um..haha..." "Like, Rapunzel, you know? D'ya get it?"

Today's went a bit like this.

I was at the creamery, waiting to pay, and debating about which line to choose. An ordinary-looking guy was at the end of one of the lines. He saw me debating and said, "This line is for republicans only." I was completely confused and just stared at him like an idiot, while shifting around towards the other line. "I was kidding," he explained, "It was a joke." "Oh," I said, "Haha..." Knowing he'd blown it, he paid for his gum and exited, "So...er...see ya."

It was only when I got home that I realized I'd been wearing a blue jacket and a blue striped shirt, like the symbol for democrats. I had to look this up, though, because I'm completely oblivious to all things political.

Well, guy from the store, I hope someday you find a girl who understands your political pickup lines.

Love,

Lizzy.

This picture is sweet, huh? I actually took this one. Look at the printed words everywhere, running off onto my very hand? Cool, isn't it?

Really those are just call numbers for books I needed to get at the library. Why waste a piece of paper when you have a perfectly good hand?

Love,

Lizzy

another one down, another one down...

...another one bites the dust.

Today, of the 6 girls residing in my apartment, only one made it all the way from Sacrament Meeting to Sunday school today.

Roommate #1: ...never even made it out of bed.

Roommate #2: ....claims illness and leaves after sacrament meeting.

Roommate #3: ...claims her friend is speaking in another ward and leaves after sacrament.

Roommate #4: ...claims illness and leaves during relief society.

Roommate #5: ...claims illness and leaves after relief society.*

Roommate #6: ...is still at church, where she should be.

Way to go, Abbey. Way to go.

Love,

Lizzy ;)

* in my defense, I really was feeling sick.

a fairly sad tale

A Fairly Sad Tale

I think that I shall never know Why I am thus, and I am so. Around me, other girls inspire In men the rush and roar of fire, The sweet transparency of glass, The tenderness of April grass, The durability of granite; But me- I don't know how to plan it. The lads I've met in Cupid's deadlock Were- shall we say?- born out of wedlock. They broke my heart, they stilled my song, And said they had to run along, Explaining, so to sop my tears, First came their parents or careers. But ever does experience Deny me wisdom, calm, and sense! Though she's a fool who seeks to capture The twenty-first fine, careless rapture, I must go on, till ends my rope, Who from my birth was cursed with hope. A heart in half is chaste, archaic; But mine resembles a mosaic- The thing's become ridiculous! Why am I so? Why am I thus? Dorothy Parker

ballade of a talked-off ear

This is "Ballade of A Talked-Off Ear" by Dorothy Parker. Pardon the language, but it is hilarious.

Daily I listen to wonder and woe, Nightly I hearken to knave or to ace, Telling me stories of lava and snow, Delicate fables of ribbon and lace, Tales of the quarry, the kill, the chase, Longer than heaven and duller than hell- Never you blame me, who cry my case: "Poets alone should kiss and tell!" Dumbly I hear what I never should know, Gently I counsel of pride and of grace; Into minutiae gayly they go, Telling the name and the time and the place. Cede them your silence and grant them space- Who tenders an inch shall be raped of an ell! Sympathy's ever the boaster's brace; Poets alone should kiss and tell. Why am I tithed what I never did owe? Choked with vicarious saffron and mace? Weary my lids, and my fingers are slow- Gentlemen, damn you, you've halted my pace. Only the lads of the cursed race, Only the knights of the desolate spell, May point me the lines the blood-drops trace- Poets alone should kiss and tell. L'ENVOI Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face Poets alone should kiss and tell. Love, Lizzy ;)

first day of classes: the rundown

9-9:50 AM: French 211R (Second Year Conversation)
This class was fun and looks like it is going to be fun. The french language actually feels comfortable, and that's a really great feeling. It will help me improve my conversation skills right up until I go to France and converse with the French natives!! I am excited. I love French.

10:30-11:50 AM: Ballet 290 (Ballet Accelerated Technique 1)
I'm still not technically "in" this class, so pray some people drop it, but I'm just attending anyways in hopes that I will get in--I probably will, if it is right/best. It should be great.

1-1:50 PM: Philosophy 201
This fulfills both a psych major and GE requirement, so I'm taking it. It could be interesting or horrible. Only time will tell.

2-2:50 PM: Creative Writing
There is A LOT of reading and A LOT of writing in this class. Luckily, I am an excellent writer, not to sound cocky. And I haven't gotten to read real literature rather than schoolbooks in a long time. We're not reading Plato or Crime and Punishment. We get to pick what we read, and it is fun stuff, stuff I like reading. A lot of work, but hopefully fun work.

Then I transcribe an anthropology class. And then my monday is over! Today was exhausting, but overall good. I'm scared and stressed about the semester, but I'll get it under control and all will be well. I hope.

Love,
Lizzy :)

fml.

Have you ever seen 500 Days of Summer?

Basically, it is the story of a guy who falls madly in love with a girl. She seems like she loves him too and their relationship is going really great, until she ends up leaving him because she "doesn't want to be in a relationship." Most of the movie is about him falling in love with her, the few months of a wonderful relationship, and then the subsequent dark depression.

Add in the girl cheating on the guy who is madly in love with her before she leaves, and if you want an update on my life, there you have it.

I am the guy.

Lizzy.