Here is actual, original paper I turned in to prove it. And yes, it got me an A.
A is for Alarmingly Astoudingly Amazing
Dear Mrs. Alison Verr Corgan*,I strongly believe that I deserve an "A" in your fabulous journalism class. I know that I have not actually completed my newspaper reading in...well, ever, but I assure you, I make up for my negligence in this area in my reliability and excellence in many others. My articles have always been thorough and on time. I have spent countless hours running random errands for editors in the journalism lab, indeed, enough to warrant the special title of "J-Lab Minion" (see Jenna). I am the go-to gal for nearly any journalism need, and am forever being assigned more and more stories, and then having them taken away half the time, because I have too many to begin with. I am quite commonly found in the journalism lab at 5 in the afternoon, coming up with original headlines for a wide range of editors, including Jenna Ritz*, Millie Coquette*, Marie Bunboy*, Casey Queen*, Janelle Poosli*, Bo Elizabeth*, and Hilary Salmoner*. I can claim credit for editing work, rewrites, and leads in over twenty stories, have taken at least fifteen photographs, have written headlines for over twenty stories, distributed sixty polls, and sold three ads. I have discovered three exclusive stories and written one cover page story.
In short, I am alarmingly astoundingly amazing, and to give me anything less than an "A" would be blasphemy!
* names have been changed
Note: the role of this paper in the changing of my grade has been exaggerated for the sake of humor. However, it was truly and honestly turned in, and did receive an A.
Love,
Lizzy
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