devin stuffing her face like always

The title of this post is irrelevant; thanks to Jenna, whenever I can't think of a good title for a post, I just use one of our newspaper headlines for the Thunderbolt that never quite made it. I was Headline Queen in high school journalism. Although come to think of it, my headlines went downhill towards the end. I became maybe a bit TOO fond of colon headlines and the phrase "not just for kids anymore." Ex: "Sledding: not just for kids anymore." "Pizza: not just for kids anymore." "Love: not just for kids anymore."

That photo is not blood. It is red nail polish that fell from the cupboard shelf into the sink when I opened the medicine cabinet. The bottle broke and the nail polish exploded. It was a horrible mess to clean up, but the pictures sure look awesome. Also, my life is so weird.

In other news, Clad gave his farewell talk at church today. It was grand, grand, we are all very excited for him. Well, last night I cried, but now I am done crying and focusing on being excited for him, also supportive, etc. Deep down inside, I just want to run through the sliding glass doors screaming NOOOOOO! However, that seems a bit melodramatic even for me, and I've already broken one set of sliding glass doors in my day, two seems like it's pushing it.

brief Modern Family quote interlude: "Maybe its because I knew her in high school, when she had braces, acne, a pill addiction, and a nervous breakdown ending with her running through the sliding glass doors screaming EVERYONE'S A ROBOT!"

Why did I fall in love? Was it a bad idea? Was it even an idea? Couldn't I have waited a few years? False. Everything will end up exactly as it should be and I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trade one moment of the past year and a half for anything in the world. That sounds cliched, but I am being totally serious. Its many times more than worth it.

To be fair, though, the whole no-contact-except-writing, being-on-opposite-sides-of-the-world-for-two-years thing sucks.

Still. Its all good. It is all worth it. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Love,

Lizzy :)

facebook status: fact or fiction?

My facebook status recently changed. Those of you who are not members of my family or very close friends may be confused by this. My explanation is, I am tired of trying to explain it, because my life is insane and you have to be a cross-country runner to keep up. Literally, most of my friends are cross-country runners. So yes, I am in a relationship, yes, it is with the same guy that I have been with for over a year, yes, we have had our ups and downs, yes, we are happy, and yes, we plan on staying together for a long, long time to come.

That is all.

Love,

Lizzy

dear morning

Dear Morning,

I was just writing to ask you what on earth I have done to be brutally tortured and punished. See, I have this awful cold so I got about 2 hours of sleep and then had to wake up early to take a midterm. It was gray and freezing and snowing when I woke up, and I thought that was rather mean of you. But apparently I had no idea what you had in store.

After I woke up, being completely exhausted, with what seemed to be a cement block for a head, I decided to go and make some tea to make me feel better. This plan miserably backfired, though, because I am an idiot and took the burning hot cup out of the microwave with my bare hands. Then I freaked out and spilled the boiling water all over my hands.

Trying to put out the burning burning death of my hands, I opened up the freezer door. I was greeted not by a burst of cold air, but by a burst of exploding glass bottles of cream soda. Yes, my genius roommates froze soda in glass bottles. (Quick science lesson: water expands when it freezes. When water expands inside of a sealed glass bottle, the bottle explodes. Then when your unsuspecting roommate opens up the freezer, she gets attacked by shards of glass and frozen cream soda. ) So then my hands were not only burned, but full of glass. I went over to the sink and pulled the shards of glass out of my hands and then just stood there bleeding in shock (the emotional, not physical, state). Because seriously? That is just cruel.

After removing the glass from my hands and putting band-aids on them, I realized my midterm was in 15 minutes and I had not even dried my hair. And you can't go out in the snow with wet hair. It becomes frozen hair. So I blowdried my hair and ran to my midterm without even any makeup, but was still 5 minutes late for a 10 minute oral test, which I was so flustered for that I probably failed. I know I missed 3 of the 5 vocab words at the very least.

So in conclusion, morning, I think that you have gone just a little too far this time. Please never do this to me again. If you could just never again put me through a morning involving burning, cutting, freezing, and failing, all in the space of 1 hour, that would be great. Thanks.

Love,

Lizzy.

newzzz

Look, my school. Sometimes I forget how hauntingly beautiful it is in the winter. Everything may be dead, but Provo doesn't require life or greenery to have its own majestic beauty--that conflict between industrialism and the silent power of mountains mankind cannot touch.

Here is some news because I have been slacking in telling you all of the WILDLY INTERESTING things happening in my life. Why have I been slacking? Is it my amazingly busy social life? My tirelessly hardworking academic life? My ever-diligent dancing life?

I answer you, no. It is that I procrastinate by watching every episode of every season of The Office, so, naturally, I am too busy to blog. This is no reflection on you; I am sure you are all great people, though I have no idea why you are procrastinating by reading this instead of procrastinating by watching The Office. To be honest I think you are a bit dim. No offense.

Anyways, here are some updates you might be interested in.

• Clad, previously known as Edward (thanks Burak), received his mission call to the Japan Tokyo mission. He leaves for the Provo MTC on April 7th.
• Little Bo Peep received his mission call to the England London South mission. He leaves for the England MTC on May 28th.
• I still have mono.
• I also have a really awful cold on top of mono.
• Today I spent $25 on six different types of drugs. I am trying to medicate myself out of illness. So far it is not working. But with any luck, I will at least be able to attend my 3 classes today.
• My grades are all in the trash, but sadly I don't care. I just stare at them in the rubbish bin, wondering if maybe I should take them out, but then again The Office is on. I think we all know what wins out.
• Two of my roommates turned 19. Nothing happens when you turn 19, but I thought you should know, in case you are an RM that only dates 19 year olds, or a fairy godmother who wants to transform a 19 year old college student into a princess. Because we have 4 great candidates here. Hint: blonde is always better.
• I signed a contract for next fall housing. I will be rooming with a great friend from high school in the back half of a little old house. We are very excited, especially about the flat rate utility bill (in our current apartment we keep it at 77 degrees, and that is how I would like it to stay).
• I am going to France for realzies. I have my actual ticket. So please send me several thousand dollars so I will be able to afford it, okay? Thanks.

This post is so long that you have probably stopped reading. So I will call it quits and go watch The Office.

Love,

Lizzy

potential makeout buddies: steer clear

That title is a joke.

However, I do indeed have mono. No, I did not kiss anyone with mono. I don't even know anyone with mono. I have no idea how I got it. Its very annoying.

I haven't been feeling well so yesterday I went into the doctor. I told her I'd been feeling way more sick than seems normal for a lot longer than I usually have viruses. She ordered a blood test (that is every doctor's knee-jerk reaction, I swear) and went the results came in, she looked down and went, "Oh wow." "Oh wow good or oh wow bad?" I asked. "Well," she said, "See that number there? We're supposed to test for mono if it is over 15. Yours is, well, its 48." So she called the lab and had them test the blood for mono, and it came back positive. The treatment? There is none. Sleep. For 6-8 weeks.

I love my life, I love my life, I love my life...

Lizzy

if

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

I think this applies to girls just as much as men. :)

Love,

Lizzy

fire and ice

Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice. Robert Frost