So this is my second year at BYU. I don't really remember finals the first time around, to be honest. I mean, I know I must've taken two sets of finals before. Three, actually. But last April Chad left, and I don't actually remember anything from April 7th until I arrived in Paris. So I guess my finals disappeared into some traumatized vortex. Or something, I don't know.
The point is that I don't remember finals week in past semesters. However, let me tell you about finals week THIS semester.
Finals week means I have a number of 'camps' in which I do not move and alternate between studying and studying. And sometimes eating, but not frequently. One of the camps is on my couch. That's where I have spent all of today. There's a blanket, pillow, a number of water bottles, endless textbooks, flash cards, notebooks, pens, pencils, iPod, headphones. It is like a little camp I've set up for myself. I have another of these camps on the 10th floor of the SWKT. I was there last night until 10. Yes, on a Sunday. So yeah, that's pretty weird.
Finals week also means that I basically go from failure to failure with nothing but growing fear and confusion. Why am I failing? Why can't I stop? Why is it everlastingly too late? I don't know. I have 3 finals down and 2 to go. I'm taking them both tomorrow so that I can just put myself out of my misery.
And the final lesson I've learned about finals can be summarized in one word: Caffeine. Because in the past week, I've probably slept a sum total of 21 hours. Approximately 3 hours per night. Like last night. Because I had a 7am final.
I am so, so, so tired. It has become this ridiculous attempt to conserve all energy for studying. Even solitaire takes too much energy. But I had to write this blog, because after tomorrow this week will disappear into the Finals Vortex and next fall I'll be totally shocked and confused all over again.
I'm just so tired.
Love,
Lizzy
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